Relationship
11 Ways to End a Toxic Relationship
We all strive for our happily ever after, where you and your partner build together an elevated life. But, sometimes, that’s not the case. Instead, what seemed promising was actually toxic.
When your relationship is doing well, you are doing well in life. But when your relationship isn’t going well, your happiness and health are more likely to suffer.
To the people on the outside, these toxic relationships are often baffling. Clearly, leaving someone who makes you miserable or is physically or emotionally abusive is the right thing to do, right? In reality, things are often more complex.
Putting up with unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships for years is often easier than ending them. Some reasons can be emotional dependence, fear of leaving, or a lowered sense of self-esteem.
Perhaps it’s time to make some healthy adjustments and put an end to your toxic relationship.
11 Ways to End a Toxic Relationship
When you’re in a toxic relationship, it’s vital to get the help you need to change it or leave it.
Consider confiding in your friends and family or seeking professional help if you are experiencing such a situation.
An experienced therapist will help you cope with difficult situations, restore self-esteem, and address safety issues. Thus, if you can access therapy, getting professional help is highly recommended.
You may have to save up money in order to move out permanently, keep records of abusive behaviour, and get a restraining order in the case of a severe problem.
You may want to file for a restraining order if your partner continues to call or show up unexpectedly after you have asked them to leave you alone.
Keep these 11 things in mind when you’re ready to make some changes.
#1. Don’t remain in denial
There is a high chance that you are unaware that your relationship is toxic.
However, once you realise that you are in such a toxic relationship, believe that you can break free of it.
It may seem like a small step to admit to being in a toxic relationship. But in fact, it’s a big deal.
Don’t be afraid of walking away from a relationship that degrades your self-esteem and doesn’t serve you any longer.
Remember that you are moving forward, away from this self-destructive tendency and toward a brighter, more promising future.
#2. Save money
The road to freedom begins with your financial independence.
Therefore, take your time and effort to get your finances in order before cutting off contact, even if it takes a few months or even a year.
It is time you begin carving this path if you do not yet have a career or stable source of income. Take classes, get training, start working (even a part-time job).
#3. Keep track of your emotions
The last thing you may feel like doing is writing about your emotions.
There’s a chance you won’t be able to concentrate.
Plus, you might worry that you would feel worse if you wrote it down.
Make a list of “Things That Make Happy” and see if your partner helps you achieve any of those things.
You should document your feelings every day so that you have reliable evidence of how your partner makes you feel.
We tend to confuse feelings with facts; we try to justify our loved ones with excuses.
Writing it down provides you with undisputed proof of how you felt, what your partner said, and what they did to hurt you.
#4. Confide in someone you are close to
Look for family and friends who may be able to help you after the end of your relationship.
Even a single person can make a difference.
When the relationship ends, they can provide you with a place to live, as well as social and emotional support.
Your close ones can inspire you and help you see what life is like outside of toxic relationships.
You can count on them to be with you even after you end the toxic relationship.
#5. Consider seeking professional help
It is best to find supportive and healthy relationships with other people if you suspect you are in a toxic relationship.
Sometimes you need an unbiased perspective of an insightful friend, therapist or coach to realise that you were not at fault.
They can help you focus on the positive, disengage you from self-blame and help prepare your escape plan.
It takes effort and time to escape a toxic relationship and move on.
Counselors, therapists, and support groups can help you devise and meet your goals.
#6. Don’t be afraid to take a stand for yourself
We often ignore adverse behaviours in order to escape confrontation or maybe because rational argumentation with an irrational person proves futile.
Don’t condone verbal or physical abuse directed at you. Speak confidently and let your partner know you don’t tolerate such behaviour.
If your partner is willing to see a therapist, you can go to counseling together to resolve the issue.
When you get the necessary support and your partner still repeats the same patterns time and time again, you should consider ending your relationship.
#7. Cut off all contact with the toxic person
Continuous exchanging of messages can prolong healing.
There are some situations when stopping all communication is impossible, such as when there are children involved.
During such times, keep your communication direct and brief. Discuss what you must and no more.
In time, if both parties have healed and changed their ways, a friendship may develop.
If you are ending the relationship, don’t do anything with the person until it is OK. Avoid any flirting or sexual activity right after the breakup.
#8. Heal from guilt
You may feel guilty for a variety of reasons after ending a toxic relationship. It is possible to feel guilty about staying in a relationship too long, hurting the other person, or believing that you have negatively affected your children.
No matter why you feel guilty, self-forgiveness is the first step toward healing.
Emotionally and physically, forgiveness can improve your well-being.
Time is necessary for healing, so surround yourself with people who will love you and lift you up rather than tear you down.
#9. Indulge yourself
When you are in a toxic relationship, your self-esteem and mental health suffer.
Before being able to commit to a second relationship, you may need some time to heal. Take your time.
Hobbies are a great way to help yourself recover. Try your hand at a pet project or set up your own business. Travel to a place you’ve always wanted to visit.
Hobbies are not only a great way to increase self-confidence, but they are also a great way to meet new partners when the time comes.
For instance, if you wanted to start a cooking or a food blog, take the first step of searching for suitable Food Blog Names and buy the domain.
“If you make a positive stride forward, there’s no harm in rewarding yourself”, says Dhruvi Haria, content creator at F and B Recipes.
#10. Don’t wait for an apology or closure
Getting out of a toxic relationship is painful, in large part because there is no closure.
The goal is to find closure after ending a toxic relationship and seek an apology for your pain.
It is rare when you receive an apology, and you might end up feeling worse about the situation than you were when the conversation began.
There is something you need to know: you did not deserve the treatment you received, and that you should believe in yourself that you deserve better is the best thing you can do for yourself.
#11. You won’t have it easy
After leaving a toxic relationship, surviving afterwards can be equally challenging. Be prepared for the challenges you will face as you step out of the relationship.
Like how you learnt to cope with a toxic relationship, you’ll have to learn to be happy again.
The toxicity of toxic relationships can squash your personality to the point that you are unable to speak your mind, grow or develop.
Being thrust back into the real world can feel overwhelming to the point that you’re not even sure who you are anymore.
There’s a chance that you started wearing a mask to survive, and you may not even be aware of this mask you’ve been wearing.
Takeaway
Toxic relationships are incredibly painful, not just from an emotional standpoint but also from a mental viewpoint.
Regardless, you deserve to be happy and free from the negativity and harm that it causes.
Leaving a toxic, unhealthy relationship is a courageous and difficult decision to make, but you can do it.
Taking the leap is the only way you can find happiness and comfort once more in your life.
Good people exist. This experience should not stop you from pursuing joy.
Get in touch with a mental health professional if you are struggling or need help creating boundaries.