Quotes

219 Funny Coffee Quotes to Brighten Your Day

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4 years ago

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Coffee has become almost an essential aspect of most people’s lives so we thought of bringing you some funny coffee quotes!  Our funny coffee quotes emphasize the advantages of drinking coffee on a daily basis. That daily caffeine dose to keep you awake has become necessary for human beings to function.

The ideal time –according to our sayings for coffee­ to indulge your self is when you wake up in the morning, to drive away that morning sleepiness.

However, in today’s world coffee has become such a staple of our diet that even the preferred drink to accompany a meal is usually coffee. In addition, as the times have changed the types of coffee have also increased. In the olden days, coffee was thought of as a drink you could only take when warm.

Now, the latest trend is to drink iced coffee with some five or six ice cubes. We joke about this and more in our funny coffee quotes.

Apart from its warmth or coldness, we would like to educate you about the different types of coffee as well created by adding different ingredients to coffee beans. For instance, a cappuccino, an espresso, a latte macchiato etc. You can skim through these funny coffee quotes as you sip on some coffee.

We have discussed more types of these beverages in our funny coffee quotes below. Whatever the type of coffee you prefer, one thing is for certain, the boost that a well-prepared cup of coffee can give you is unmatched. Hope you enjoy the following humor funny coffee quotes that appeal to your humorous side.

Best Funny Coffee Quotes and Sayings All Time

The impact a good cup of coffee can have on your mind is difficult to explain with words, but we have given it a shot in our sayings for coffee. Specially in the morning when you’re dreading what the rest of the day has in store for you, it can give you that initial adrenaline boost and fix your mood. We describe more about this feeling in our funny coffee quotes.

  1. Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. –Alphonse Allai
  2. Never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. –Ronald Reagan
  3. Coffee first, Schemes later. –Leanna Renee Hieber
  4. But even a lousy cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all. –David Lynch
  5. As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be? –Cassandra Clare
  6. Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he drank his coffee before it was cool. –Barista Life
  7. Coffee with a friend is like capturing happiness in a cup.
  8. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. –T.S. Eliot    
  9. You must rise early, start early grind extra to achieve greatness. –Govind Sharma
  10. Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break. –Earl Wilson
  11. The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce. –Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr.    
  12. Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. –Stephanie Piro       
  13. I judge a restaurant by the bread and the coffee.
  14. Coffee is the common man’s gold, and like gold, it brings to every person the feeling of luxury and nobility. –Sheik-Abd-al-Kadir
  15. Coffee is a language. –Jackie Chan
  16. What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup. –Henry Rollins

Funny Coffee Quotes and Images for Pinterest Sharing

In these modern times, the restorative property of coffee is one of those things that almost every person desires. That is why using our funny coffee quotes along with the funny coffee quotes images that accompany them for your Pinterest sharing needs will ensure that your pins are one of the most popular pins and that people will come back to see them.

  1. I must get up. Coffee needs me!
  2. Coffee pairs nicely with silence.
  3. Love is in the air. I can feel my coffee brewing.
  4. Life begins after coffee.
  5. Coffee drinkers make better lovers.
  6. What’s life without a coffee.
  7. Drink coffee do stupid things faster with more energy
  8. My birth stone is a coffee bean.
  9. Coffee time is any time.
  10. Coffee is not the question, coffee is the question, yes is the answer.
  11. Coffee makes your brain Go.
  12. Coffee is the gasoline of life.
  13. Coffee, all the goodness of life in a cup.

Funny Coffee Quotes for Coffee Lovers

If you’re one of those people who’s still hesitant to include coffee in his/her daily routine. Then the funny coffee lovers coffee quotes that we possess may convince you about the benefits of consuming coffee. The following are sayings of significant personalities, conveying their love for coffee and the amazing feeling of drinking their very first cup. If they loved it, we’re sure you’ll also love it.

  1. Without my morning coffee, I’m just like a dried–up piece of goat. –J.S. Bach
  2. Should I kill myself? Or have a cup of coffee. –Albert Camus
  3. Expresso is a little taste of heaven served in a cup.
  4. I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee. –Clark Gable
  5. Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self. –Terry Pratchett
  6. I believe humans get a lot done, not because we’re smart, but because we have thumbs so we can make coffee. –Flash Rosenberg
  7. I’d rather take coffee than compliments just now. – Louisa May Alcott
  8. No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘Before Coffee.’ –Cherise Sinclair
  9. Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee. –Louisa May Alcott     
  10. No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness. –Sheik Abd-al-Kabir      
  11. Humanity runs on coffee.
  12. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems.
  13. Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. –Dave Barry   
  14.  Life without coffee is a life not lived.
  15. If heaven had a flavor…… It would be coffee!
  16. Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death and as sweet as love.
  17. To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions.
  18. Yes, I’m a coffee addict and I’m proud of it!
  19. I can do all things through prayer and coffee.

Cute and Funny Coffee Quotes and Sayings

Maybe you’re one of those people that enjoy coffee so much that you want to read sayings for coffee to see if coffee really is as universally appreciated as you think it should be. We believe our coffee cute quotes will satisfy you as we show you numerous people from different eras all having one thing in common, their never-ending love for coffee.

  1. Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. –Anne Morrow Lindbergh
  2. Humanity runs on coffee.
  3. If you can’t remember my name, just say coffee and I’ll turn around.
  4. Coffee is like duct tape, it fixes everything.
  5. Be strong as your coffee.
  6. Oh, look! It’s coffee o’clock.
  7. Love you more than coffee.
  8. I don’t drink coffee to wake up, I wake up to drink coffee.
  9. My life happens after coffee.
  10. I’m sorry for what I said before coffee. 
  11. Coffee, the 100% natural replacement for sleep.
  12. I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t.
  13. With enough coffee, I could rule the world.
  14. It’s time to brew some coffee and splash some quotes to tickle your funny bone and let go of the stress! 
  15. He was my cream, and I was his coffee and when you poured us together, it was something.
  16. Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second. –Edward Abbey  
  17. Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. 
  18. Way too much coffee. But if it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever.
  19. Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? –Jean Kerr  

Inspirational and Funny Coffee Quotes and Slogans Worth Reading

In this section of funny coffee slogans we’re proud to provide you with your morning inspiration and motivation through our inspirational coffee quotes which includes the drink that heals all, by this point you can guess what it is! Yes, its coffee, the miraculous drink that can force your morning blues away and charge you up for the next event of your day.

  1. Coffee is a cup of hope in a world full of chaos and Mondays.
  2. Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you coffee which is kind of the same thing.
  3. Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven. –Jessi Lane Adams
  4. I’m not addicted to coffee, we’re just in a committed relationship.
  5. Depresso is the feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee.
  6. Rainy days should be spent at home with a cup of coffee and a good book. –Bill Watterson
  7. The power took me that savoring a simple cup of coffee can have to connect people and create community. –Howard Schultz
  8. I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee.
  9. A bad day with coffee is better than a good day without it.
  10. When life gives you lemonade, return it and ask for coffee instead.
  11. Coffee keeps me going until it’s time for wine.
  12. Any friend of coffee is a friend of mine!
  13. I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, ’Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.
  14. Sometimes I look forward to going to bed at night because I know I know that when I wake, I get coffee.
  15. Coffee is my favorite co-worker.
  16. A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.  
  17. When you feel like stopping, think about why you started and have a coffee.

Funny Coffee Quotes and Captions for Instagram

Feel like proclaiming your love of coffee to the world? Want to choose the best funny coffee captions for your Instagram post? Well, no worries because we’ve got you covered. Our funny coffee captions Instagram list below contains the cream of the crop when it comes to sayings you can use in your captions.

  1. Coffee with a friend is like capturing happiness in a cup.
  2. I think the key to the start of any good relationship is to remember how the other person likes their coffee.
  3. Some girls just want to have fun. I just want to have coffee.
  4. Coffee and friends make the perfect blend.
  5. Coffee – Because bad mornings deserve a second chance.
  6. More expresso, less depresso.
  7. More love and coffee please.  
  8. Any time is a good time for coffee.
  9. Some call its self-confidence – I call it coffee.
  10. The accessory that always matches my outfit: coffee.
  11. A day without coffee is…just kidding, I have no idea.
  12. Life is short – have another cup of coffee.
  13. Always down for a coffee date.

Funny Coffee Quotes about Coffee and Friends

Sitting down and sharing everything that went down with your friends after a long week of work is incredibly relaxing. Drinking coffee during that time sweetens the moment. Tales like those are what make up our funny quotes about coffee and friends. So, when you do sit down with them make sure to share some of these experiences as well.

  1. A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent.
  2. Coffee helped me to maintain my “never kill anyone streak”.
  3. It is inhumane, in my opinion, to force people who have a genuine medical need for coffee to wait in line behind people who apparently view it as some kind of recreational activity. –Dave Barry
  4. Sometimes having coffee with your best friend is all the therapy you need.
  5. Coffee is a hug in a mug.
  6. To an old man a cup of coffee is like the door post of an old house — it sustains and strengthens him.
  7. The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drank. –Sir James MacKintosh
  8. I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless. 
  9. Why, yes, I could start my day without coffee? But I like being able to remember things like how to say words and put on pants.
  10. May your coffee kick in before reality does.
  11. Coffee – The most important meal of the day.
  12. But even a bad cup of coffee is better than no coffee at all.
  13. People don’t stop eating, and they don’t stop drinking coffee. –Magic Johnson   
  14. It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. –Donna A. Favors  
  15. I don’t see the point in caffeine without coffee. Or coffee without caffeine, for that matter. –Robyn Schneider 

Sarcastic and Funny Coffee Quotes

Everyone loves a little sarcasm in their life. Especially when it’s about something as lovable as coffee. Our sarcastic coffee quotes also contain some coffee puns, and as ridiculous as they are, we’re convinced that they’ll force at least a giggle out of you. Read these funny coffee quotes and if you enjoy them make sure to share them on your social media.

  1. What do you want? Just coffee. Black – like my soul. –Cassandra Clare
  2. I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake. –Lewis Black
  3. I would like my coffee black as night, sweet as sin. –Neil Gaiman
  4. Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all. –David Lynch
  5. Some people will tell you there is a great deal of poetry and fine sentiment in a cup of coffee. –Ralph Waldo Emerson
  6. The coffee is warm; this cup is yours. I want to be someone you can’t live without. –Charlotte Eriksson
  7. Ah coffee. The sweet balm by which we shall accomplish today’s tasks. –Holly Black
  8. We return to each other in waves. This is how coffee loves.
  9. The Adventure begins with a fresh cup of coffee.
  10. All my troubles wash away the coffee touches my toung.
  11. This coffee is lifting me over the seventh heaven.
  12. Where there’s coffee there’s hope. –Wing Pinero 
  13. If you are cold, coffee will warm you; if you are too heated, it will cool you; If you are depressed, it will cheer you; If you are excited, it will calm you. –William Ewart Gladstone
  14. Each cup of coffee represents an imaginary voyage. –Mary Lou Heiss
  15. You can never get a cup of coffee large enough or a book long enough to suit me. –C. S. Lewis   
  16. Coffee was food in that house, not a drink. –Patricia Hampl

Funny Coffee Quotes to Give You the Best Humor

Coffee in addition to being extremely delicious, is also very addictive. Sometimes drinking one cup is not enough and you always feel like having more. You feel like you can’t function without drinking coffee. The coffee humor quotes below further elaborates on this in a humorous manner. Additionally, the humor funny coffee quotes below also elaborate that consumption of coffee have also increased as people have it more than one time a day now.

  1. Sometimes I go hours without coffee. It’s called sleeping.
  2. I want someone to look at me like I look at coffee.
  3. I just googled myself; turned out I just need more coffee.
  4. Do you want to talk to me before drinking coffee? I also like to live dangerously.
  5. I drink coffee because the adult is difficult.
  6. Drink a strong coffee, take control of your mentality, and leave your apologies at the door.
  7. Coffee: take life one sip at a time.
  8. Tired? Drink coffee; Headache? Drink coffee; Cold? Drink coffee; someone makes you angry? Bust them in the head with the cup. That’s how coffee solves every problem.
  9. Decaf coffee only works if you throw it at people.
  10. Coffee and dog make the world go around.
  11. Coffee is like high five in your mouth.
  12. Coffee helps me person, personing is hard without caffeine.
  13. When life gives you lemons, trade them for coffee.
  14. If you bring me coffee without having me to ask; then I Love You.
  15. Coffee? Oh, you mean my survival juice?
  16. Water is the most essential element in the world, because without it you can’t make coffee.
  17. You laugh, I laugh, you cry, I cry, you take my coffee; Let God have mercy on your soul.

Funny Coffee Quotes about Starbucks

The following category of funny coffee quotes sheds light specifically on the shenanigans that occur while ordering coffee at a Starbucks. Starbucks may be the most widely known coffee providers in the world. However, our starbucks funny quotes will show you the funny side of getting your drink from one of the world’s most known coffee places.

  1. Starbucks Coffee; comes in sizes short, tall, large and twenty. Does this make sense to anyone else?
  2. It’s a beautiful day to have a Starbucks drink.
  3. May your Starbucks coffee always be stronger than your Monday.
  4. A day without Starbucks coffee is like — just kidding. I have no idea.
  5. Can someone text me a coffee from Starbucks?
  6. Starbucks coffee and me are mint to be.
  7. Everything I brew, I brew it for you.
  8. I’ve been thinking about you a latte.
  9. Relationship status: It’s caffeinated.
  10. Starbucks and me are mint to be.
  11. Iced, iced coffee, baby.
  12. Did somebody order a pugkin spice latte?
  13. I want a job at Starbucks because I’m going to spell everyone’s name wrong so they can’t Instagram their cups.
  14. Sadness is an empty Starbucks cup.

Funny Coffee Quotes for Monday

Ahh the dreadful Monday morning, the time of the week when you start reevaluating all the life decisions you’ve made to reach this morning and think to yourself if it was worth it. However, there is no need to be depressed as we provide you with our funny Monday coffee quotes that’ll aid you in getting out of your Monday morning funk. These cute sayings about coffee will revitalize you while also adding some humor into your life.

  1. Mondays are fresh starts, grab a cup of coffee and have a wonderful day & week.
  2. May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short.
  3. Hey it’s Monday, don’t dilute my coffee, need strong coffee.
  4. Coffee helps battle free radicals, inflammation, stress, fat & Mondays.
  5. It’s Monday but coffee can handle it.
  6. Coffee, because Monday happens every week.
  7. I’ll be back on my feet once the coffee reaches life supporting level.
  8. Tuesday also known as Monday II so, Coffee please.
  9. Coffee is the foundation of my food pyramid.
  10. Monday checklist: wake up, make coffee, do amazing things.
  11. Coffee is the best Monday motivation.
  12. After I drink coffee, I like to show the empty mug to the IT guy to tell him that I’ve successfully installed java. He hates me.
  13. Wake up and smell the coffee.

Funny Coffee Quotes with the Best Jokes

The upcoming coffee jokes quotes are some of the best sayings that’ll have you shedding tears of laughter while simultaneously making you realize how absurd and annoyed a person becomes when they don’t get their daily energy in the form of coffee. So, sit back, coincidently with a coffee cup in your hand, and enjoy our funny coffee sayings as you get ready to tackle the next challenge in your life.

  1. Coffee is the best part of my miserable waste of life.
  2. Death before decaf.
  3. Of course, size matters, nobody wants a small cup of coffee.
  4. I am one sip away from happiness, don’t mess it up with stupid questions.
  5. Coffee, because crack isn’t accepted in the workplace.
  6. The fact is, I don’t know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn’t collapse when you eat your head against it. –Douglas Adams  
  7. Instant Human! Just add coffee.
  8. Shoutout to Wi-Fi, coffee and ambition.
  9. Don’t you wish your coffee was hot like me?
  10. Oh, what a beautiful morning! Oh, what a beautiful day. I’m drinking this whole pot of coffee. You better stay out of my way!
  11. I don’t have enough coffee or middle fingers for today.

Funny Coffee Quotes for Good Morning

As mentioned above in various paragraphs, the best time to enjoy coffee is in the morning. As it turns into liquid courage for you to face the rest of the day. Our funny morning coffee quotes further amplify this sentiment. Moreover, these good morning coffee quotes cover all the advantages of coffee entering your body early in the morning.

  1. Wake up! And have a cup of coffee A sweet morning is waiting for you.
  2. A special coffee for you, mixed with care and happiness… Good Morning!
  3. A person is as strong as you deserve a strong cup of coffee. Good morning!
  4. The day has begun, drink coffee, smile and be thankful for the life you have.
  5. My week on Wednesday and coffee once upon a time in a bed to wildflowers.
  6. A coffee from me and something extra: a hug a smile and a magnificent day. Good Morning!
  7. Here is a virtual cup of coffee to help you begin your day. Wake up and brew your way to the day.
  8. I can do with coffee without sugar but not see the sunrise without you. Wish you a good morning.

Funny Coffee Quotes for Friday

Gulping down coffee on Fridays makes you feel extra sweet and relieved as explained in our funny Friday coffee quotes. The reason for that is that while you’re frantically forcing coffee down your throat in the morning, there is a feeling deep down in your heart that’s releasing all your tension. Since this is the last working day you must endure and then you have the weekend to look forward to. Our funny coffee sayings encapsulate all of this.

  1. I love you just as much as I love coffee. My coffee cup reminded me of you this Friday morning. Wishing you a great morning and day ahead.
  2. Coffee doesn’t ask questions, it understands. God too doesn’t ask questions; he just gifts you a new day with a new hope. Have a lovely Friday day.
  3. Be like coffee, strong enough to leave a lasting impression on anyone who has dared to have a taste of you. Good morning and have a wonderful Friday day. 
  4. The best way of waking up is to open your eyes to a hot jar of coffee. Open your eyes, your coffee awaits you.
  5. I hope your day begins with love, happiness and a great cup of coffee. Have a wonderful day.
  6. I was thinking of you this morning. So thought of sending you a morning coffee. Have a wonderful day.

Funny Coffee Quotes to Start Your Day

When you wake up and see the sunlight beaming down from the heavens, your heart skips a beat and is filled with feelings of joy and happiness. Our start your day with coffee quotes further add that during that situation if you have a warm or cold mug of coffee in your hand, then that’s just the icing on the cake. Hence, make sure you have a full cup of coffee in your hand when you head out and maybe read some of our funny coffee phrases before you head out as well.

  1. Good ideas start with brainstorming. Great ideas start with coffee.
  2. Coffee…the breakfast of champions.
  3. Coffee can’t cure everything, but it can cure the mornings!
  4. Come here your giant cup of beautiful coffee and lie to me about how much were going to get done today.
  5. You were on my mind, so I thought I’d share a cup of coffee with you! Good Morning, have a great day!
  6. Sharing is always good. This morning I’d like to share my love, affection and a cup of coffee with you.

Witty and Funny Coffee Quotes and Phrases That Are Truly Hilarious

Feeling exhausted after doing a stupendous amount of work? Need a little motivation along with your coffee? Fear not because we’re here to save the day, with our funny coffee phrases and witty coffee quotes. We guarantee that reading our hilarious coffee quotes below will recharge you and have you back to your old ambitious self again.

  1. Shhhh, don’t disturb me, I’m busy changing coffee into badassery.
  2. Coffee! Because anger management is too expensive.
  3. To make me happy: Make me coffee, bring me coffee, be coffee…. coffee.
  4. I eat salad every day. Bean salad…Coffee bean salad…Coffee. I drink coffee every day.
  5. I like my coffee like I like myself: strong, sweet, and too hot for you.
  6. Life without coffee is like something without something…sorry, I haven’t had any coffee yet.

More Funny Coffee Quotes That’ll Resonate with You

The content that we put in our funny coffee quotes ensure that the person reading them will find at least one saying that they vibe with. If through some odd miracle none of the above quotes resonate with you don’t start spiraling out of control, because you will love this next list of funny coffee sayings. Don’t worry you can thank us later!

  1. There is no use crying over spilled milk…spilled coffee however, may get you stabbed.
  2. Friends bring happiness into your life. Best friends bring coffee.
  3. Coffee, coffee! It’s our drink! If we don’t get it, we can’t think!
  4. Coffee; because hating your job should be done with enthusiasm.
  5. I just like coffee; coffee is my favorite.
  6. When that first sip of coffee touches your soul…
  7. A real prince brings coffee.
  8. It’s strange how drinking 8 cups of water seems impossible but 8 cups of coffee go down like a chubby kid on a see-saw.
  9. The tendency to not start anything until you’ve had a cup of coffee.
  10. Coffee isn’t a drug it’s a vitamin.

Final Thoughts on Funny Coffee Quotes

Just like the beliefs of millions of people around the world, we also believe that life would be quite unbearable if we were deprived of our dose of coffee during the day. Those beliefs have been recorded by us in our funny coffee quotes to share with you.

Yes, it is also exceedingly addictive and if you become coffee crazy and drink up to 5 cups per day, the amount of caffeine can be harmful. But in moderation coffee is the substance that allows us to function, just as it allows the people who said these funny coffee sayings to function. 

The soothing effect of coffee or Lack thereof could result in a person being moody, cranky, and angry about everything that happens. Just like the way it is described in our funny coffee captions. So, make sure to drink responsibly whether it be coffee or any other drink because excess of anything is bad in life.  

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